Teaching Yoga for Anxiety , while being anxious!

Oh the humor is alive and well within this journey of mine. 

My Somatic Teacher Training for Mental Health is going well and strong. We’ve been doing more teaching of our own, where we meet up with one or two fellow classmates to teach what we are learning. It could be embodiment work, depression, anxiety , stress or burnout. I usually pick anxiety, mostly because I deal with it the most , and figured I would feel most comfortable in this area. 

While it was easy to create the class, sequence wise, I am still challenged by choosing words, or cues going into and out of poses. Haven’t taught much, and even though I have done yoga for over a decade myself, it’s very different than teaching others. You have to SPEAK! You have to demonstrate as well as give additional help for your students. We’ve had amazing classes leading up to our 1-1 teaching sessions with fellow classmates so we are being well informed, I just love that!

A little bit ago, we had a large group teaching. It was amazing, truly amazing. The women in class are such beautiful souls and I feel really honored to be learning along side them and to be taught by them! We were all a little shy on who goes first , which I find very humbling. A few others went before me and I love how different everyone’s style is, you get to take something from each session, their words, the way the sequence flowed. I absolutely loved the way some of them really got into movement, and even story telling! That was an amazing way to wake up, and gave me some ideas for future classes. We also did a standing cat-cow, (it’s usually done on all fours, rounding spine up like a cat, chin tucked down towards chest, then cow, with head up, spine down , tailbone up) yet the standing one was arms up and back, head up, rising on tip toes, then releasing forwards, arms infront, back curved, heels flat on the mat. We all looked like bears hugging a trash can if that helps give you a picture, try it, it felt amazing.  I am defiantly adding this to my daily yoga.  

When it came to my turn I was more nervous than I wanted to be, hadn’t slept much the night before felt tired as well but I went through it. Felt as if I was trembling, shaking, stumbled on my words, rushed, or even didn’t explain certain things well enough. Suddenly felt like I couldn’t even speak, and at one point I blanked out trying to describe a side seated gentle twist! I mean, basic yet nope, no words. I stuck to trying to breath, and really stretching through movements, trying to actaully calm myself down…with my own class about calming down! Go figure right? Well it worked, sort of. I still felt the jitters, slight trembling, but I did feel relaxed, and I made it through!

This was huge for me, and I’ll tell you why. If you’ve read my previous articles , you already know I have PTSD, so do my kids, anxiety has been a part of my life for a long time. One of my biggest fears is making a mistake. Messing up, making myself look like a fool and having it being pointed out to me, because that’s what I lived with. Things thrown back at me even though I tried my best. Even around people I know won’t do that sort of thing, it’s still a triggered response, which of course overtime will slowly fade away into nothing. It already is.

Finishing my class and being able to hear feedback was something I needed, and it felt really good. I made it through something that I was infact looking forward too, but also felt a lot of anxiety about. My wonderful fellow classmates surprised me with their feedback, they were very encouraging, and it gave me even better hope for furture improvement for myself.

I remember during my instruction of child pose I nearly choked back tears because I couldn’t figure out what to say during this time! Was searching and searching for words, not even sure what was said, but apparently it was just enough because they told me I did fine. I loved their tips and advice, and it was nice to hear at one point when “I” emotionally needed to repeat a pose , that it was welcomed by another, and it hit me then. Once again it hit me, 

I am not alone. This statement calmed me down so fast I let out a laugh and nearly cried, because- 

I am not alone.

This is why I want to teach! There are people just like myself in need of a way to work through all of this trauma, all of this self doubt we have in ourselves and to understand that we do have it within ourselves to pull up and out of it. We can do it. 

We are not alone.

You Are Not Alone. 

It doesn’t matter how big or small a task is, if you did it, be proud of yourself. If you faced a fear, or you looked your anxiety in the face and plowed through it, YOU ARE AMAZING! If you can’t do it yet, YOU ARE STILL AMAZING! Why? Because you know what’s triggering you and yet you still tried to face it. Yes, repeat that again and again. 

It doesn’t matter

A bit ago I wrote about meeting my students where they are, well, I’m here to tell you – Meet Yourself Where YOU are! Right this moment, no matter what it is you are doing.

Remember Your best today, is not your best that was yesterday or tomorrow and you need to repeat this until it sinks in. If you are trying your best right this moment, that’s all that matters, and you need to be proud of yourself for it. 

It’s easy to be hard on yourself if it became a habit over time, so start now by letting go and just be proud of what you have done. No matter how small it is, be proud. After awhile it does become easy and little mistakes won’t matter one bit, just give yourself time and patience, but most of all, give yourself Love. 

Thank you for being on this journey with me. If you are enjoying my posts about what I’m learning about Somatic Yoga please check out the course, maybe it’s something that you would like to sign up for! 

More to come as always, thank you again 🙂